YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slut skills are useful in every country.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize