Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
