Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
vagina is talking i cant
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
