Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
