Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
