Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
