yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Randomize
