great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize