im six kinds of drunk right now
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
