feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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