we have officially lost it.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
