At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
