Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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