K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize