someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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