so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
