Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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