is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
