the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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