Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
In other news, I just burned my penis
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
