Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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