Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize