Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
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