We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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