what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
