VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
All the doctor said was why
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
