I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
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