just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
this is an emotional support booty call
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
