What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
