I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
