At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
