Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Btw I puked in your glovebox
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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