I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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