we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
