No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
