then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
