"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Nicole vs. Life
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
