I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
pray to the hookup gods
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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