If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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