He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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