Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
These tits shall not be calmed
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
