it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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