she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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