He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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