I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
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He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
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I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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