Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
