Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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