I wanna passion pit in your ass
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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