I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
