You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
