The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
