let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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