Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
