I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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