Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
