I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
