I don't think brook has ever known best
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
